Can I Like My Body Yet? The Origin of FiTONIC.

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Can I like my body yet? Has that sentence ever rattled through your mind? Maybe after an exhausting pre-spring break swimsuit shopping excursion that had you questioning why you passed on the ski trip. Maybe as you stared deep into the crevices of my-baby-was-here marks before slowly suiting up for an early morning meeting. Maybe as you scrolled through your social media feed peppered with before and after photos, featuring different women looking forlorn, and then beaming with the hope of being 10 pounds lighter and more loveable. Gawd, can I please like my body yet!?

“You know, you’d be cute if you lost 10 pounds.” I was 17, bussing tables at my first job. He was in his mid-50’s, a line cook, offering evaluations sans request. Before that, I was “Thunder Thighs.” And most recently, at a photoshoot, I overheard the whispers of women: “Do you think we have anything big enough to fit her?” I’m not an impossible fit. Technically, I’m a Medium. But I’ve spent more hours than I wish to count resenting my body based on outside feedback. And that’s true even though my body has powered me up countless steep hills on weekend runs, through bracing water in morning swims, under a heavy bench press, through crushing miles in my first triathlon, and up the rack to achieve the once-seemingly impossible unassisted pull-up.

The saying is: “Our bodies are our temples.” Sometimes it feels that way, right? But they are often also our battlegrounds, our laboratories, and our wonderlands. The relationships we have with our bodies are one of the most complicated relationships that we will ever have. I grew exhausted from the quiet arguments I’ve had with my thighs as I squeezed into my skinny jeans. So, I wanted a better relationship with my body; a less anxious relationship; a less antagonistic relationship. One where I instead relished in the strength of my thighs and how they raced along the lines of my lane through a morning sprint sesh. One where I fueled my body and moved my body because I loved it, not because I hated it.   

I decided to turn my attention (obsession) with weight loss to how bodies function and feel. My training focus shifted away from the endless pursuit of a thigh-gap and towards becoming swifter, higher, and stronger. And what I found was that the more my mind worked with my body, instead of against it, the more my mind expanded. My body was teaching my mind to be resilient, persistent, tenacious, daring, confident and to fear less--not just in the gym or on the track or on my bike, but in every aspect of my life.    

I’ve taken all that I’ve learned in that process about nutrition and movement and put that into functional protein blends and training programs for you. Because it’s not about starving yourself to become less of you. It’s about fueling and training to become MORE.     

FiTONIC’s origin story is my story. It’s your story. It’s our collective story and the book is flipped open to the chapter titled: Ready for More. Train your body. Train your mind. Own your hustle. Be who you want to be.


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